What, oh what a day…

Observations continue and frustration abounds. Today I visited my key school and observed the teachers who’d previously signed up for said observation. Up until now most observations had gone over rather smoothly without many glaring problems. Today, on the other hand, it seemed that every problem imaginable decided to rear their ugly heads.

Disclaimer: by addressing afore mentioned ‘problems’ I do not mean to turn this blog into an internet rant. Instead I will attempt to tie them into the larger issues that try to thwart the progress of this particular PCV!

The first teacher I observed today was teaching a 5th grade Math class. I entered the room and two students were at the deplorable chalk board working on problems. I studied the board as I took a seat in the corner. The problems on the board followed a sequence I was completely unfamiliar with, but seeing as how Math is far from my best subject I watched silently. After the few moments the teacher came up to me and said “They’re working on adding and subtracting compound fractions. I’ve never taught them how to do compound fractions, I’m just trying to see if they can figure it out on their own.” I glanced back at the board, where multiplication and division symbols were arranged in the most confusing places. “How are they doing?” I asked. She replied, “I think a few of them have it, but it’s taken them a few weeks.”

Weeks? These children had been working on compound fractions for weeks, not figuring out how to do them, receiving no guidance from the teacher? I was rather shocked.

I then observed an EMS class (Economic Management Science) in grade 6. The lesson was about values and their effect on future careers, families and the rules they make children obey, spending and saving money, and the differences between needs and wants. All in 30 minutes. Needless to say it was a tad-bit hard to follow.

The instructor started by saying “Okay, boys, what do you want to have as a future career and why?”

Several eager young men stood up and announced they’d like to be doctors so they could heal the sick and cure HIV/AIDS (this was touching to me), some said they’d like to be on the police force so they can catch thieves. I then sat and patiently waited for the instructor to ask the young ladies what they wanted to be when they grew up, as I was curious. He didn’t.

He finished up that section of the lecture and asked if there was something I’d like to add. I said, “Actually, there is! I’d like to know what the young ladies in this class would like to be in the future and why.”

The teacher looked and me and said “They’re girls, all they want to do is sit at home and smoke Dhaka all day.” He proceeded to laugh.

“I highly doubt that,” I said trying not to undermine him in front of his students.

“Okay, fine, ladies what do you want to be in the future?” He asked.

Silence.

“See, there minds are all confused.”

I wanted to turn and ask him if he’d have answered the question after being insulted by his teacher.

I made eye contact with some young ladies in the front of the room and nodded encouragingly. There hands shot up. The teacher called on them and was then informed that these two ambitious young ladies would like to be a pilot and a teacher, respectively. I grinned at them and loudly said “You will both do an EXCELLENT job.”

I then sat back to try and follow the rest of the lesson.

I then had a meeting with my key school principal and primary supervisor. She had just returned from a meeting with the other two principals we are working with. They had been discussing what to do with us for the next few months. She was reporting their decision. I will spare the details, but suffice it to say I was terribly insulted. As I am sure I’ve mentioned before I have always been aware of the relegated status women hold in the world, especially the third world. But, having grown up, more or less empowered I have not personally experienced it in the degree I have here, in only a few short months. Apparently the principal of the other school I am personally overseeing is disappointed that I will be overseeing his school. He wanted to make it clear that he would much prefer Jason. Also, my principal wanted to make it clear that they were all very grateful for Jason and all the work he was doing for them and how glad they were that he’d be working for them and how excited they were for all his ideas etc. etc. etc.

I sat there and began to fume. My stomach turned knotted and my fists clenched. I asked several times for clarification thinking it was a simple miscommunication. It wasn’t.

It had been made clear to me on the visits I had made with Jason to these other schools how much more the male principals preferred Jason’s company, always asking him to speak on my behalf etc. But, I had shrugged it off to being simply customary, not personal.

All that to say, today wasn’t as swell as it could have been! But, I must simply reflect on the mantra I developed during training…

I WILL NOT LET THIS BREAK ME.

And I won’t. I see this as an opportunity to teach these esteemed gentlemen just how much they can learn from a woman, for I AM qualified to hold the position I do and I DO have knowledge worthy of imparting.

I WON’T LET THIS BREAK ME.

I am also nearly 100% positive I will start my own version of a girl’s empowerment club another PCV started in Limpopo for girls in grades 6 and 7. These young ladies need to know of their incredible self-worth. And they need to believe it. If I hadn’t been told that I was worth being listened to I can see myself believing that I am, in fact, secondary. I am afraid of what could happen if someone doesn't tell them they're worth more than they're told on a daily basis. I am truly troubled about this...

Wish me luck! It’s obvious we have a lot to overcome here. But, interestingly instead of overwhelming me today has ticked me off, thus fueling my desire to prove everyone wrong and show these little girls a bit of how important they truly are. :-)